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I am a 16 soon to be 17 year old schizophrenic chronically online depressed suicidal girl with a large addiction to marijuana, I try to be kind to everyone and whatnot but my supervillan worthy backstory often makes me have intrusive thoughts!!!! So basically this website is a documented version of my schizophrenic ramblings

Hello everyone! I am writing this on my phone in my bed and it is currently 12:27 and technically october 2nd... NEW DAY!!!! And today is a day of preperations (showering mainly ;3) because I have alot ahead of me on the 3rd and 4th (4th is my birthday) which means I need a shower!! when I wake up of course... I already have an outfit planned for the 3rd when I see my beautiful girlfriend and we see a scary movie on the 4th!! how fun! but anyways, enough about me (even though this is MY blog and ill eventually talk more about my personality) and more about this update i made on the website, any and all bots should be detected and banned from scraping my beautiful website for generative ai (GROSS!!) but all in a days work I suppose -w- goodnight yall, see you in the morning when I post this on my blog !!!

Hello everynyan!!! I have officially awoken from my slumber at 8:56AM,, not bad I suppose. You know, I was thinking on the toilet, that old friend is the ENTIRE reason I actually started this (butterfly effect is crazy huh?) because one time she asked me if I ever wanted a website and well, yeah! And she told me about this thing called neocities, now at the time I had no clue about the word "neo" so I couldnt actually find it. But the seed was planted in my mind ever since this moment LOL, anyways I have alot of stuff to do so dont expect me to update this too regularly today maybe, still need to get my birthday present (A FUCKING HELLO KITTY BONG!!!) because all the stores that sell that stuff locally havent been open every time we tried to go due to some stupid ass holiday. Also thinking about updating that surreal weirdcore game but, idk recently I have found someone to do animation work on the arena shooter which means I can FINALLY start working on a better system for the game itself since the original combat isnt too enjoyable, the orignal plan for this was to have a revolver you could shoot at any time via a button key but that doesnt feel fun enough IMO, something more in tune with ULTRAKILLs combat would make for a more fun gameplay loop but I have issues coming up with ideas that wouldnt just be porting over ULTRAKILL assets at that point LMAO. Maybe I could switch to first person and have the isometric camera available as some sort of mini map in the top left, and the main gameplay loop could be something similar to POST VOID actually but with a way more heavy approach to longer games and more rougelike gameplay! (thinking of featuring a one handed chainsaw >:3) However this seems annoying to get working because the last time I remember roblox only really has janky methods to project a view onto a gui.

So... day 390 of trying to get over this. .....not working so far.

So, despite what they DID TO ME, I currently wish their mothers and sisters good luck with dealing with these people, and if you are reading this? My condolences.

Anyways, I am now smoking more weed to forget about this, these people meant alot to me and drudging up old memories just so I can tell a blog about stuff that REALLY doesnt need to be online (especially in this landscape LOL).

Holy fuck, huge rip. Im already crossfaded KEK.... I love you all, everyone taking time out of their day to read this (yes, you!) and would like to say that I dearly appreciate everyones support during the launch of this blogpage/diary. This has been an exciting part of my life so far and I would love to continue in helping you all for whatever purpose you read !!! :D (Have you ever wished to become my friend? If so then come right here! :3)

Hey, so. You know that weed I was talking about? Now its starting to seriously kick in cuz I lowk smoked a whole bowl LMFAO. This is going to be really good for my mental health in the coming while due to me REALLY wanting to finally see my girlfriend again, I truly love her and this little while where we are gonna spend time feels like im about to receive the WORLD or something LOL well, it really isnt that far off for me exactly. The whole reason I started this website is cuz I got off my ass and did something !!! Also, more good news. One of my friends I thought I had lost has recently gotten back in contact with me !!! Im really appreciative of this and want to ask her if I can put her website on mine but, again totally not sure if she would be okay with something like that when previously I assumed her to be practically gone, this moral dilemma holds me from doing it because I want to ask first, but also holds me from asking BCUZ IM TOO SCARED !!! Anywho, took my inhaler and fucking DEVOURED my sub (Haha, funny!) and still sorta have the munchies. so I think im just gonna drink this monster I have becuz I get more tmmrw anyways when I see my girlfriend.

Just posted some extremely embarassing instagram reels. I deeply regret it, but also I think its funny enough to where it might direct people from reels making fun of me onto my website and maybe a new friend !! ^w^ So, despite my disgust posting my face online in 2025 (post friends leaving).... I have already done it before, and in probably larger quantity due to the traffic on my website. If anything this just boosts mah kewl blog a little bit :3

JUST CLEARED OUT ANOTHER BOWL. LIT. LIT. LIT.

(Yawwwnnnnn~) I. Am. Tired. So much driving today and preperations for tomorrow !! :3 Plus the whole showering thing, looking down while showering still sucks for me BIG TIME. I figure it wont be for awhile until that gets any better, on the bright side of things ! GIRLFRIEND!!!!! I am probably gonna go lay down in my bed now and leave the website as is until I eventually fall asleep ehehee, hopefully my gf wants to talk more as im getting ready for bed because that would be AWESOME SAUCE. YIPPEEEEE!!! NOW GOODNIGHT EVERYONE I APPRECIATE AND LOVE YOU ALL ^-^

Day of opening, huh? hopefully when most people read this my logs have a long while before they end up here, but oh well. I would like to start off by saying there is absoloutely 0 schedule for my blog and all inspiration comes from an old friend, I would go into detail about the backstory of us but truthfully im on bad enough terms with her now as is. Despite me caring about her, truthfully I am nothing more than some depraved stalker at this point in her life, we knew eachother as childhood friends, yes. But things have taken a turn in recent years due to my forced confession by another completely seperate group of childhood friends. My past associations with those people still haunt me to current day, I really do wish they would just get out of my life.

new hour new me, I am back writing this because I have nobody to talk to and atleast writing some of my notes down feels nice because now I feel productive for writing stuff on my computer as opposed to doomscrolling, I have been recently getting obsessed with bugs (not telling you why) but I really enjoy these creatures who look so harmful just being so silly and playing around ! it reminds me of myself and how I actually hate everything about my physical human form and depsite it I try to convey my deepest feelings, usually failing horribly because I decide on some random biblical word to self describe as opposed to writing it out normally like a normal human being because I have schizophrenia(undiagnosed).

While I have been thinking about bugs I also have been thinking alot about that weirdcore game I made. I kinda want to add a bug type -thing- (not explicitly an enemy) where the visuals are contstructed in 3d using 2d images of a bugs anatomy, I believe this could be pretty cool in theory but im not so sure about my own capabilities to construct something like that and have it look cool and fitting in this entire world I have doomed myself into creating for.

I have been recently finding myself more and more in love with my girlfriend, shes awesome ! I soon meet with her in ~2 days at the time of writing for my birthday :D Im especially happy due to how long we were apart since I was beginning to get lonely (enough to start a neocities blog LOL) I really dont wanna go too into our relationship details in this blog ever due to the both of us not really wanting aspects publicized (trust me its for the better) but I will often refer to her in this blog just because the amount of significance she has in my life and how im currently feeling, but anyways enough about that for now LOL, recently ive been thinking: how much weed do I consume daily? The answer? ALOT. so much so I am now concerned about running out entirely ;-; I guess it could be worse, I could run out of cigarettes instead LMFAO (UGHHH I HATE ADDICTION!)

Really excited for tomorrow to start, I've been writing too much on this singular day LMFAO new topic: Dr Pepper. I fucking LOVE this stuff. I have drank like 8 today and counting, I now seriously need to research about the long term effects of dr pepper usage to see if im gonna get ball cancer or something.

Okay, wow. so apparently some guy fucking did it. He drank 4.5L of dr pepper every single day, his teeth rotted to that of a like 42 year old or some shit and his muscles were fatigued ALONG with his fucking kidney almost going into failure.... Yeah I think im going to stop drinking so much dr pepper.

considering adopting some sort of centipede/creepy crawly bug or snake maybe even a large scorpion who knows, by the way, girlfriend. I know you are reading this, NO. Anyways, I really do find it enjoyable to watch them crawl around on stuff and would love the feeling of one crawling on me for sensory purposes, I imagine it might calm me similar to how whenever my CAT lays on me.

I REALLY love game development, so anytime I get the chance ill publicize my progress here.
ROBLOX ARENA SHOOTER
WEIRDCORE ROBLOX GAME